British Animal Rights Performance Artist Eats Corgi

A recent news article documents a "performance artist," which is a euphemism for "a**hole," named Mark McGowan who feels the British royal family is abusing its critters. At first, he seems almost, almost, a reasonable sort, though the whiff of activist lunacy is noticeable:

"We love our animals in Britain," McGowan told AP Television News. "Why is it then that we then allow people — especially people who are supposed to be ambassadors for this country — to treat animals with such disrespect?"

So McGowan decides he must protest the royals' animal abuse by eating a corgi, the Queen's favorite breed of dog. If you only caught the parts of the blurb, it might remind you of a sterling Monty Python sketch in which a hunter on the veldt says, "I love animals. That's why I track' em down and kill 'em." However, McGowan claims to have eaten pre-expired corgi, spiced to cover up the taste and smell of potentially putrid flesh:

To make the corgi more palatable, it was mixed with apple, onion and seasoning, turned into meat balls, and served with salad.

McGowan said the corgi he consumed had died recently at a breeding farm and had not been killed for the purposes of the protest. He did not say how the dog had died.

"I ate three lumps of it. But I spat two of them out, so I really ate one and a half of them," McGowan said.

Not eating the whole dead corgi he so disrespectfully ground up, which apparently no other animal rights activists found offensive. Very sensitive and caring of him. Surely he'd never abuse anything, except rational thought and public decency.